The Big Weeding Day
by Ohesotte nani
Summary: What REALLY Happened at Yuna and Seymour's Weeding Day. Pure insanity and character bashing. Open Mind required. Quite disturbing to younger people.


The Big Weeding Day  
  
By Ohesotte Nani  
  
  
  
WANRING  
  
This will scare a lot of people. Please have an open mind and don't hurt Monkey Girl. She's a real person to. I bash almost all the characters, and nothing mean is meant. (well...) I am a big fan of all the carrots, ummm, characters of FFX, but I just needed to write a weird fic. If the following offends you then please don't read:  
  
Gay Crap  
  
Fiend Abuse  
  
Auron Playing Old Maid  
  
Cults  
  
Bad Grammar  
  
Monkey People  
  
No Plot  
  
Just Weird Stuff  
  
If you can handle that stuff, then I hope you enjoy 'The Big Weeding Day'  
  
  
  
Tidus looked at the window amd sighed. 'Why are you getting married?' he thought. 'I thought you loved me. I thought I made it clear that I love you'  
  
In a few hours, he would be able to race up the steps and stop the madness. Confess his love, and have a happy life. He had told Wakka, and had his full support. He didn't dare tell anyone else, for it was embarasing enough.  
  
He checked over his sword a million times. Making sure that it was just right. There were sure to be plenty of guards, and he was going to be ready.  
  
He could think of his love in full detail. He only knew the love of his life for a short time, but he loved the person to bits. Looking into those eyes, those eyes.  
  
Tidus could hear the running footsteps coming closer.  
  
"Theres a fiend attackin' us!" exclaimed Wakka. "Let's go!"  
  
Tidus followed his friend as they went twords the hatch (i dunno what its called) and atacked the monster.  
  
It kept on attacking Rikku for some reason, so the young Al Bhed became mad.  
  
"You stupid bitch! Your just attacking me cause Im Al Bhed! How dare you! I'm gonna teach you a thing or two!"  
  
And with that, she magicly jumped on the thing and started hitting it. The whole cast that was on the ship thingy looked at her. Lulu, Yuna, Wakka and Auron had a little table pulled out and were playing poker (they wern't fighting. so what else would they do?)  
  
Rikku continued to attack the poor thing (it had started crying) and finaly took one of her grenades and shoved it in his eye. It screamed in pain and its head went *poof*.(and it magicly disappered in thin air)  
  
"By golly ge whiz. That was mighty mean of you Rikku old girl." commented Kamahri.  
  
"Your just saying that because I'm Al Bhed you overgrown excuse for a uni brow unicorn!"  
  
With that all done, Rikku magicly returned to the ship and they all took out the imaginary board and started to put spheres in it.  
  
When they were all done, Lulu put it away (where you ask? I don't want to know) and they went to stop the Weeding.  
  
When they got there, they started to fight the crowds of monk thingies. Yuna, Rikku, Auron and Tidus had started a game of Go Fish, while the others fought. When they finished the first battle the player had to go to the washroom, so the guards stood there patiently as Tidus (the rest of the co. went into him) just stood there.  
  
When the player finaly was done her buisiness she resumed playing and fought all the monks (while Auron beat Rikku, Wakka and Tidus at Old Maid) Finaly they got to the Weeding place.  
  
"Stop!" yelled Tidus. "Please stop this Weeding!"  
  
Yuna looked at Tidus with shock in her face. Wearing the most wonderful gown, with lots of sparkly thing (much to Rikku's amusment) Tidus was about to stop the Weeding.  
  
"O please stop!" yelled Tidus. "Oh Seymour! I love you and only you!"  
  
Tidus flung his arms around the shocked man and he burst into tears. Yuna's hair was now standing on ends (like Clouds) and Auron burst into tears.  
  
"It's so *sniff* so *sniff* sad! Past *sniff* lovers *sniff* united and *ACHOO!*" said Auron.  
  
Rikku walked over to Yuna like a monkey and poked Yuna with a pack of Pockey.  
  
"OOOO OOOO?" Rikku asked.  
  
Yuna finaly came back to the land of the living and looked at Rikku. "It was, well, I at least wanted to have a honeymoon before he turned gay."  
  
"OOOO O OOOO O O OOOOOO??" asked Rikku"  
  
"Yes." replied Yuna.  
  
Seymour and Tidus finaly got married and Yuna was a lonely hag all her life. Auron got a leash for Rikku, and they are now happy they even got on the front page of the nespaper. 'Monkey Girl Finds Love' Wakka has had doubts about his sexuality and Lulu is more that happy to show him why women are better. Kimahri got a job at the local Zoo and get's paid in carrots. The monks retired and they all became a happy cult of people that worship hair gel.  
  
Now kids, the moral of this story is.....never eat stuff with lots of sugar and please be nice to monkey people. They are freaks just like you.  
  
  
  
I hope you enjoyed this. It was made possible thanks to:  
  
Moomba Toys  
  
T-Mart  
  
Seymours Gay Pets  
  
Rin and O'aka Boxing co.  
  
Save The Monkey People  
  
and many other worthless companies.  
  
  
  
Another annoying note from me.  
  
Yes, it is supposed to be called The Big Weeding Day. WEED. WEED Why Weed? Why not? At first it was called 'Nihonshoku o tabesukete inai yabanjin desu.' But 'I am too barbaric to eat a Japanese breakfast.' was a weird name. The I wanted to calle it 'Ebi no idaina saigo desu!' But then again. 'How honorably shrimp struggle as they choke to death!' was kinda weird. So then I came up with The Big Weeding Day. (in honor of my friend woe spelt 'Wedding' Weeding for 4 years of her life) RnR. PLEASE DONATE TO THE MONKEY PEOPLE FUND! 


End file.
